We like to hug.
As humans, and actually as primates, it’s just something that’s hard-wired in us. If we like you, if we’re happy, if we need – or want to give – comfort, we hug.
Naturally, we extend that behavior toward our dogs.
But more than a few articles have been written suggesting that dogs don’t like to be hugged.
So the questions we need to ask are:
- Is it true that dogs don’t like hugs?
- If it is true, how can we appropriately show our dogs that we love them?
Patricia McConnell, an applied animal behaviorist, writes: We need to be very specific about what we mean by “hugging.” Yes, your dog may leap into your lap and kiss your face, cuddle against your neck and beg you to rub her belly. But that’s not “hugging.”
Hugging involves putting our arms around a dog’s shoulders and squeezing. And in most cases, this is not something dogs enjoy.
How do we know this? Well, try it on your own dog and have someone else carefully watch for the following:
- Does your dog move his eyes sideways so you can see the whites of his eyes? (This is called “whale eye”)
- Does he close his mouth or yawn?
- Do his ears shift slightly back from their original position ?
- Does he lick his lips?
These are all signs that your dog is feeling uncomfortable, and I’m going to tell you flat out that my dog exhibits all of them when I hug her. But guess what … I still give her hugs! Not because I enjoy making her uncomfortable (I really don’t!). But because I know she’s learned to tolerate it, and I really love hugging her! (I’m a primate – what can I say?)
I am sure the thought bubble over my dog’s head when I hug her would read, “Here we go again! I don’t know why you like doing this to me but fine … go ahead! I’ve learned it’s going to be over in a few minutes and then you’ll probably do something I enjoy, like scratching my back or rubbing my belly.”
Now, of course, there’s the possibility that your dog does enjoy being squeezed. But even if he does, are you sure he likes it all the time? For example, it’s unlikely he’d enjoy it while he’s eating his food. And can anyone hug him – or just you?
The reason it’s important to be aware of all this is because as adults, we can pay attention to our dogs and hug them in a safe, appropriate manner – even if they’re really not thrilled with it (like my dog).
Children, however, aren’t thinking about what’s safe and/or appropriate. They just HUG. And I’d be very surprised if anyone reading this doesn’t know of or hasn’t heard of at least one child who’s been bitten or snapped at for hugging (as in squeezing) a dog.
Children typically don’t know if it’s OK to hug a dog, and if it is, they don’t know how to do it in a way that avoids making the dog uncomfortable (we’ve all seen kids giving dogs those death grip squeezes, right?). They certainly don’t know when to stop hugging. Sometimes those hugs seem to go on forever and for some dogs, forever is just too long – and that’s when there’s trouble.
So pay attention to your dog, and see what he or she likes. And if you still can’t make up your mind whether your dog likes hugs or not, just remember … there’s always belly rubs!
Do you hug your dog? Let us know in the comments section below.
DogsHome: Providing shelter, training and love
A brilliant article. I do give my dog “hugs” but only for a second but I’m always mindful that she might not enjoy it as much as I do. She enjoys laying on laps, giving & receiving kisses & being stroked so will do this all the more now rather than giving bear hugs.
My one rescue dog leans away if I even put my arm over his back, so never hug him, just rub, scratch and stroke. However, with my female GSD, especially if I’m sitting, and open my arms and say “Want Cuddles”, she immediately comes and sits in my lap and actually leans against me so hard I almost fall over and drapes her head over my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her and she will literally sit there hugging until I open my arms. Sometimes, she still won’t move. My other 2 rescues like cuddles when they want them. If I’m sitting and they come and sit in my lap, they want. I don’t do it any other time. So it’s true. Some dogs like it, some don’t. I think in my dogs case, I’ve had the GSD since she was 12 weeks, but the boys are all senior rescues from a hoarder, so different backgrounds.