No doubt about it, we love our dogs.
We do everything for them, often above and beyond anything we’d do for our significant other .. or even ourselves!
But because we’re human, we think like a human. And that’s where there can be a disconnect.
We express love and affection like humans (It’s all about hugs and kisses!), and we have human expectations (Don’t bark when I’m on the phone!).
But hey, we’re talking about dogs here! Not the same species. At. All.
Yet sometimes we seem to forget that and in the process, we all — dogs and humans — can wind up confused, frustrated and no closer to getting what we want.
So I began wondering: What would our dogs say if we sat down with them and had a heart-to-heart talk, asking, “What would you really like from me?”
Here’s what I think our dogs would tell us:
1. Be clear: I wasn’t born speaking English. Most of the time, your words sound to me like the horn when the teacher talks in the Charlie Brown cartoons. I focus far more on your body language and facial expressions than any words you say.
So when you ask me to do something and I don’t do it, it doesn’t help when you repeat — even shout — the same words over and over. All I hear is the frustration and exasperation in your voice, and that makes me anxious — which makes it even harder for me to do what you’re asking!
Use your body to help me because that’s what I’m focusing on. Want me to get off the couch? Try using your finger, drawing an imaginary line from my nose to the floor … now I get it!
Oh, and one more thing: I’m not very good at generalizing. If you teach me to “sit” by the front door, I may not understand what you want when you ask for “sit” in the pet store check-out line. Help me practice my skills in a variety of different settings, so I understand that sit, come, down, stay, etc. all mean the same thing no matter where we are.
2. Keep it consistent: I’m working as hard as I can to figure out what you want. I know when I make you happy it usually means treats, belly rubs and having you talk to me in a kind voice.
But I get confused when you let me jump on you one minute, then yell at me the next for doing the same thing! Or maybe I’ve been barking out the window for five minutes and suddenly you get angry with me!
It’s even more confusing when different family members and friends treat me differently. Why is it OK to jump on one person but not on another? It would be so much easier if everyone was consistent in telling me what I’m allowed to do — and what I’m not.
3. Recognize that I’m a dog, not a furry person: I love sharing a home with you, but seriously … you don’t make it easy sometimes! Squeaky toys and soft blankets are all well and good, but I really need to bark, shred, climb, dig, chew, and run! It’s all part of being a dog — and that’s why you love me, right?
And speaking of love … I’ve figured out that when you squeeze me in a tight hug, it’s your way of showing affection. I get it, and I’ve learned to tolerate it. But have you ever seen me doing that with another dog? To be honest, sometimes I get a little nervous when you do it. I’d much prefer a good neck massage or belly rub!
And if we’re being brutally honest here, I know you’ve done so much to give me a great life, but I’m bored a lot of the time. I wasn’t meant to sit around and do nothing.
So maybe you could give me more to do by feeding me meals out of a Kong so I have to work for my food, giving me food puzzles that make me think, and hiding treats around the house and playing “find it” with me so I can use my amazing nose!
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We ask a lot of our dogs. We expect them to seamlessly fit in with our human ways, often forgetting they are from a different species that has totally different definitions and expressions of affection, play and proper etiquette. (When was the last time you sniffed someone’s butt as a polite way of saying hello?)
If we lived on Planet Dog, how well would we fit in? Would it be a good idea to pull your lips back and show all your teeth in a big, welcoming smile?
What do you think your dog wishes you would do? Let us know in the comments section below!
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